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Muramasa Teases With Tentacle Sex

Sam Saturday — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:28:53 +0000

Play Magazine has revealed the cover for their September issue. Look look! It’s Muramasa: The Demon Blade, which we oogled not long ago. But this time it’s been sexed-up even more.

While I love this image visually (which, according to Kotaku, is based on Katsushika Hokusai’s 17th-century woodcut The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife), I’m a little torn over it from an advertising standpoint. The game is rated Teen, so obviously there’s not going to be any underwear-free octopus-fighting. And Muramasa’s already getting plenty of good buzz. I guess Vanillaware felt they needed to push even more to try to make it a hit.

Still, I feel a little weird that, from what we know of Muramasa, the amount of sex on this cover really has nothing to do with the game. It makes me feel like I’m being pandered to.

I have no doubt this image will show up in the next Girls of Gaming magazine, which, not-so-coincidentally, comes from the same publisher as Play Magazine. Fusion Publishing knows where its bread is buttered!

Let’s Oogle Muramasa: The Demon Blade Together

Sam Saturday — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:04:16 +0000

Pretty pretty upcoming Wii game Muramasa: The Demon Blade has a new website, which gives us a perfect excuse to oogle its delightful art. The game is filled with side-scrolling, 2D action and smothered in Japanese loveliness. Just look at this hottie!

Man! Look at those bazongas! And if you want more take a look through this mini-gallery of ladies and gents:

Nice, huh? Let’s just hope the game plays well. I’m looking for an excuse to dust off my Wii and this might be it.

Let’s Start! Sexy Poker Time Nintendo Wow!

Sam Saturday — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:47:54 +0000

Looks like Gameloft wants a little bit of that Wii money! Check out this trailer for their WiiWare game Sexy Poker. Is it pandering? Yes. Boring? Yes. Creepy? You know it. But it’s creepy in that sexy cartoon kind of way. Which is just the way I like it!

Holy shit, did you notice the rating and content? It’s rated Mature, but only for gambling and suggestive themes. It’s strip poker but there’s no nudity?! That’s a travesty, I tell you, a travesty! Give me some anime tits! Or a bare ass! I’d even settle for some cartoon bush! I just need something to make suffering through a bad poker game worthwhile. Ugh. I’m defeated. Let’s take a look at the sexy policewoman one more time.

Ah, that’s the stuff.

Hellooooo Digital Pilates Lady!

Sam Saturday — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:41:01 +0000

Let’s pretend the following video is not erotic. That’s right, there’s no way you or I (especially I) would be turned on by a computer-made pilates instructor. Not even by one who appears in a video with sensually-voiced narration. No sir, there’s certainly no meat-beating going on because of this clip!

And there’s certainly no way you or I are going to rush out on August 4th and buy a copy of the guaranteed-to-be-a-smash-hit Daisy Fuentes Pilates! Even if the cover does look like this:

Must...not...get...boner....

Gamestop Now Encouraging You To Take A Sexy Bath

Sam Saturday — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:14:26 +0000

What the fuck?

Gamestop must want us all naked. Or maybe they think playing Wii Sports gets you so hot and sweaty that you just gotta take a bath afterward. Because for some reason, right now they’re offering a Nintendo Wii bundle that includes a rubber bath duck.

And hey, the duck squirts, just like your mom.

Go check it out. If you end up using the duck to spray down your vagina, please send me photos.