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Holy Shit! Omar Sharif Has A Video Game!

Sam Saturday — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:58:13 +0000

Don’t ask me how I came across this. Sometimes magic just falls into your lap. But hot damn, did you know Omar Sharif has his own Bridge video game?? Why am I just now hearing about this?! Omar Sharif Bridge may just be the most mind-blowing thing ever!

Omar Sharif Bridge features a detailed and comprehensive help menu for the novice and customizable game options for the expert. Master card champion Omar Sharif, infamous in the Bridge community has won countless number of games and can show how you could improve just like the professionals.

How about that! If you play this game you “could” improve your bridge skills. Astounding! Considering I’ve never played a game of Bridge in my life, this claim is probably true. If I ever wanted anyone to teach me to play Bridge, Dr. Zhivago would definitely be high on my list.

Now that he’s is a video game impresario, this gives me the perfect excuse to post an Omar Sharif image gallery. Let’s take a quick oogle at pictures of the man in his prime! HOT!!!

Now go buy the fucking game on Amazon.

Let’s Start! Sexy Poker Time Nintendo Wow!

Sam Saturday — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:47:54 +0000

Looks like Gameloft wants a little bit of that Wii money! Check out this trailer for their WiiWare game Sexy Poker. Is it pandering? Yes. Boring? Yes. Creepy? You know it. But it’s creepy in that sexy cartoon kind of way. Which is just the way I like it!

Holy shit, did you notice the rating and content? It’s rated Mature, but only for gambling and suggestive themes. It’s strip poker but there’s no nudity?! That’s a travesty, I tell you, a travesty! Give me some anime tits! Or a bare ass! I’d even settle for some cartoon bush! I just need something to make suffering through a bad poker game worthwhile. Ugh. I’m defeated. Let’s take a look at the sexy policewoman one more time.

Ah, that’s the stuff.

Muscle Muscle, Baby!

Sam Saturday — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:48:17 +0000

More Japanese crazy for you today. This comes from the PSP game Work Time Fun (or “Baito Hell 2000″ in its native land). In the game you can unlock “tools” for your PSP, including video ramen timers. Like this one:

Ah yes, a muscly man posing for you while he keeps track of your ramen. Delicious. WTF actually came out a few years ago but this scene has stuck in my mind ever since. And with good reason! Just look at those abs! There’s actually a female version, too, but it’s not quite as funny.

If you’re interested in this game you can probably snag a copy for about twenty bucks.

Touchy Touchy, Love Plus!

Sam Saturday — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:09:52 +0000

From Japan, the land of romance, comes the latest in the Doki Majo girl-touching series: Doki Majo Plus! Check out the marvelous and near-incomprehensible trailer.

Yes, that right. Don't be nervous. Just bend over a little more, baby...

I’ve read that there’s little-to-no chance this game will ever be released outside of Japan. But man! If only we could have some DS girl-examination games here. If only…

And while I’m on the subject, seriously, why is it okay for these kinds of games to be available in Japan but not in the West? Yes, I know there are “cultural differences” and blah blah blah. But really, are we THAT repressed that game publishers won’t even consider releasing cheeky games here? The U.S. of A. needs a publisher that’s willing to take a chance on this kind of stuff. Sure, we have the hentai games, but what about games like these, which are just naughty fun? Some publisher out there needs to stuff up to the challenge!

The Wonderful Mario & Princess Peach Sex Tape

Sam Saturday — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:23:46 +0000

This is great. Great great great. And it’s-a here. Watch and be amazed.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Pong Me Harder, Please

Sam Saturday — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:08:01 +0000

Say you have a pair of left-over fetish boots, a riding crop and a copy of Pong you’re not using. What to do? Why not do what this gentleman in the UK did and make a wonderful video game fetishy contraption! Squeeze the boots to move your paddle and if you miss the ball you get spanked. Delightful! I especially love the knob to change the spanking intensity. I think we all could use one of those.

Check out the linked video for some Severity of Whip!

Hellooooo Digital Pilates Lady!

Sam Saturday — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:41:01 +0000

Let’s pretend the following video is not erotic. That’s right, there’s no way you or I (especially I) would be turned on by a computer-made pilates instructor. Not even by one who appears in a video with sensually-voiced narration. No sir, there’s certainly no meat-beating going on because of this clip!

And there’s certainly no way you or I are going to rush out on August 4th and buy a copy of the guaranteed-to-be-a-smash-hit Daisy Fuentes Pilates! Even if the cover does look like this:

Must...not...get...boner....

Sex & Sims

Sam Saturday — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 03:42:05 +0000

This comes from XTube (via Fleshbot). Click on either link to see the Sims getting it on at a strip club. Enjoy, pervert!

Simon Gets Around

Sam Saturday — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:33:46 +0000

Hey, remember the classic electronic game Simon? The one where you’d memorize the order and rhythm of flashing lights and then smack colored buttons? It was huge in the 80′s. Huge! So where has Simon been all these years, you ask? Well I’ve found it, at the unlikeliest of places: In a Subway restaurant, on a lady’s leg. See for yourself!

No, I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t want to seem like a total creep. Instead I discreetly took a photo of her legs. Like a total creep!

Fun possible fact: According to Wikipedia, “Simon was launched in 1978 at Studio 54 in New York City.” Even back then Simon was the life of the party!

Brad Pitt And Rock Band Are Delicious With Ice Cream

Sam Saturday — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 03:54:19 +0000

This comes from Wired’s Ask a Basterd series. In it the Pittster gives short answers to inane questions, all with the hope that it will somehow make him seem like a normal person. Don’t be fooled! He is NOT a normal person! He may play Rock Band, but he’s still Brad Fucking Pitt and he and his lady-friend are thirty-seven-and-a-half times hotter and richer than you or I will ever be. He’s a King, a Sultan, and a Pharaoh all rolled up into one tight body! Remember that part in Fight Club when he’s got his shirt off and he’s, like, totally ripped?? Man!

Anyway, check out this picture of the dude pretending to use a Guitar Hero controller.

Goddammit, that’s a nice haircut. I bet it cost $500.00. And is that Eli Roth on couch (in the red)? Why the fuck does that no-talent hack get to hang out and stare at Bradley’s sweet ass? Seriously, that guys loves trannies even more than I do.